Clothes shopping. The. Bane. Of. My. Life. Urgh! Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes. I admire well put together outfits and marvel at the ability of others to rock a trend. As for me, however, I have no clue. You know the drill, ladies – I have a wardrobe full of clothes but nothing to wear.
I am terrible for buying items with no thought as to what they go with (sucker for a bargain), leaving a right mishmash of clothes, typically with a complete lack of appropriate shoe or coat. I even took desperate measures a few years back and went on Trinny & Susannah (hangs head in shame). Not the one where you stand half naked in a 360 degree mirror whilst they lament the state of your bra. Shudder at the thought! No, I went on an episode dedicated to shopoholics and shopophobics – me making up a group of the latter. And despite being pretty smug with my choice of bra, it was bought in to question by Susannah as she man handled my mammeries, shaking her head in disappointment. Standard!
So did I learn anything I hear you ask? Only the fact I am apparently a skittle in shape, and I cry a lot. Which is never good when you’re on TV rocking a staple outfit of grey combats and a pink Bench sweatshirt jacket with a camera 2 foot from your face, prior to the discovery of hair straighteners. Thank sweet baby Jesus it was in the days before Facialbook so there is no evidence of said episode.
So no, sadly it didn’t help at all. Infact, all I went away with was a dress that didn’t even fit so shame on you, Trinny & Susannah.
Anyway, this week I have been on an online shopping frenzy as I plan for a weekend in Ibiza and a fancy trip to London town, both in February. And, as is customary, my online shopping trip looked a bit like this : Log on to ASOS, scroll mindlessly for hours, put odd bits in the shopping cart that don’t even make up one complete outfit, log off without buying any of it, and repeat. At least 10 times. Until I realise I’m running out of time at which point the stuff I want? OUT. OF. STOCK!
Argh!!! I’m hopeless. And as this is the year of comfort-zone-busting, I am trying to be a bit more daring with my clothing choices i.e. I’m having a midlife crisis, trying to ignore the fact I’m in my late 30s as I browse outfit-of-the-day blog posts written by super sassy 20-somethings (I‘m looking at you Liv Purvis & Hannah Gale).
For example, before Christmas I actually bought a pair of leatherette jeggings to wear instead of jeans! I know, groundbreaking stuff, right? And in my latest haul? I have ordered some silver boots after spying a few bloggers looking amazeballs in them. Although, in all honesty, I can’t quite make up my mind if they make me look super fresh and cool (I think the fact I just wrote that means I am, in fact, the exact opposite) or that I’ve simply raided my parents stash of 70s gear in a game of dress up.
But hopefully, by the time I leave for the white isle and make it up the Shard, I shall have got my shizzle together (translation : packed my hoodie and combats).