So since starting this little blog and the revelation I have a Life Coach, I have had lots of friends asking me what a Life Coach actually does so I thought I’d share my experience here. I’ve made no secret of the fact I hit a crossroads when our infertility journey came to an end leaving me scratching my head, trying to figure out what next. Once upon a time, I naively believed that when I finally popped out a couple of kids, everything would fall in to place, that I’d finally feel like I had a true purpose and that maybe I’d have the time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up (reality : I’d have probably been found crying in the corner panicking about how I was meant to keep another human alive!). But that (deluded) dream was not meant to be and I was forced to revert to Plan B. Except I didn’t have a Plan B so I felt stuck and directionless and more than a little bit *meh*. That was until Ibiza happened and, in a funny kind of way, all the stars finally started to align. Ibiza was yet another excuse to lose myself in magazines as I immersed myself in research and it was in one of those online magazines that I discovered Lydia, my Life Coach. I lost an afternoon binge watching her blog videos, so many of which resonated with me (this is one of my faves – gave me a proper lightbulb moment), signed up to her newsletters and eventually had my first session in August last year. I’m not going to lie, it’s a big investment both financially and mentally, but for me, it’s the by far one of the best decisions I have ever made (second to marrying Mr W, obvs!), having achieved more in the last 9 months than I have in the last 9 years! So how does it work?
First off, Lydia got me to describe my dream day, assuming there were no barriers like money / time / qualifications. From that she helped me see how I wanted life to look. This gave me the purpose for change and it’s something she will always bring me back to when I’m having a wobble (which I still do LOTS). Then, ahead of every session, I have to provide her with details of what I want to achieve from the session, what stuff I want to talk through etc so there’s always a clear goal to our time.
We then tackled what stopped me from pursuing the things I enjoyed. For me, although I enjoyed photography, I always felt self conscious with my camera, I wanted to be invisible as I hated the attention it drew. I felt this weight of expectation that my photos should be amazing because I had a “proper” camera. The reality? I was putting that expectation on myself. I also didn’t see the point of pursuing it as there were already so many great photographers out there. That I would never be as good as them so it was a waste of time. Who was I to call myself a photographer with so little formal training etc? Lydia taught me that I needed to stop looking so far ahead and focus on one step at a time toward the goal and helped me map that out. She has also got me out of my head so I make a lot more decisions now from my heart and I realise nothing has to be forever.
Lydia has helped me understand what holds me back and how to overcome my self-sabotaging. Heck, she even told me that what I considered my lazy ways were actually a manifestation of self doubt so I now no longer feel guilty about lying on the sofa under a blankie with a family sized bar of Dairy Milk 🙂 She’s helped me see challenging situations differently by talking them through, helping me see that, whatever the outcome, I’ll be OK. She gave me the confidence to ask for reduced working hours, despite my fears. I think that would have stayed a distant dream if it hadn’t been for my sessions with Lydia.
Probably one of the biggest reasons for my growth is down to knowing I’ve got to report back at my next session and that is pretty powerful. She’s on the end of an e-mail / Whats App in between sessions and checks in with me regularly, keeping me focussed. She also spots if I am procrastinating or wavering and gets me back on track which I need.
Encouragement & Support
Above all, despite the fact she barely knows me, she believes I can do anything. She hadn’t seen any of my photographs but had the confidence in me that I could do it. And although I have that support and encouragement from family and friends, it’s the objectiveness you can only get from someone who isn’t personally attached to you that makes that extra difference. That’s not to say that the likes, comments, shares and general all round encouragement from my friends and family aren’t appreciated as they mean the absolute world to me too so thank you to each and every one of you following and supporting me on this journey xx
I think that sums it up really. In a nutshell, she just asks the right questions and helps me discover the answers, knocking down barriers at every opportunity. I know I couldn’t have achieved what I have without Lydia and I now consider her a friend as well as a coach. I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with her, something I shall be continuing with for as long as I can. And the photos for this post? I actually took them. The I-could-never-be-a-professional-photographer me. I still can’t quite believe it. She hired me to take them for her new website branding and press – an incredible opportunity and experience for me, helping me believe that maybe I am good enough after all! She even said it was the best photo shoot she’s done! So she really is the gift that keeps giving!
This is not an advert and I am not being paid in any way to write this post – all opinions are my own. However, if you are interested in finding out more about Lydia and what she offers, visit her website www.lydiakimmerling.com. Or for daily doses of inspiration, follow her on Instagram.